


Bucket List

by Ellie603



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, giving these two the future they deserve, post 5x22, saving Phil Coulson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 00:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie603/pseuds/Ellie603
Summary: Coulson reflects on what he wants to do before he dies... and realizes that it’s not quite as simple as he thought it was.





	Bucket List

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little more introspective and less cute fluffy conversation than I usually do, but, as always (from me), there's a happy ending. Honestly, I can't imagine writing anything that's not happy at this point - I'm not in a good enough emotional place. So more fix-its! Because that's all we have right now.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Phil Coulson had never been one for bucket lists. 

Sure he had things that he wanted to do before he died, but he didn’t have any kind of formal list. If asked to give some examples, he might have said something about seeing a day when he and his team weren’t running for their lives or maybe just that he’d like a vacation. 

If he’d been asked before the LMD, he would have mentioned the bottle of Haig. 

But it was only when Phil actually realized he was dying (or technically after the team finally made it back from space, because he definitely had been a bit preoccupied while they were fighting bad guys in the future), that he really thought about his bucket list.

At first it was simple things. "Help Fitzsimmons get married," even if he wasn’t there to see it (which, fortunately he was). “Give Daisy opportunities to lead, ” so she could take over after he was gone (which had worked… to some extent – Phil let himself check it off anyway). 

But with Melinda everything was more complicated. 

First his goal was just to spend time with her in what remained of his life. And that was easy enough, even as they kept being separated.

But then she told him that she loved him, and that changed everything. 

He couldn’t say it back. But he needed to say something. He needed to _do_ something. 

So it became “Let Melinda know how I feel.” Because even if he was going to leave her, she deserved something. 

But the second he finished kissing her and they were separated on that alien spaceship a new entry had been added to his list: “Kiss Melinda again while we’re not being shot at.” 

Which turned out to be far less easier said than done after he ended up collapsing on the flight home. 

“Save the world” was probably on the list too if he was being honest. Really the team had probably crossed that one off about five times. But it was good to add one more check. 

When Phil announced his decision to retire for whatever time he had left, Daisy had been upset but she’d asked him where he wanted to go. 

His bucket list had an answer for that one. 

He checked off nearly everything that last day. Goodbyes to each of his team members. Tell Daisy how proud of her he was. He even got a little memorial plaque in their new Shield spaceship (that hadn’t been on the list; it was just extra). 

But there was still one last entry. 

“So, anything else on your bucket list?” Melinda had asked him. 

“Just one thing,” he’d replied. 

And they’d joked about parasailing, but Melinda knew what he really meant. 

He wanted them to be together in every way until everything ended. He wanted _her._  

And she wanted him too. It was beautiful and perfect and everything Phil had ever possibly imaged it would be. He was in love with Melinda, and she was in love with him, and now after so many years, everything was as it should have been. 

But as he lay in bed with the love of his life, as they took walks along the beach, as they did everything that they would have done before if timing had been right, if they hadn’t always been in so much danger, if they’d been able to be normal citizens and not protectors or fugitives (depending on the day and the mood of the country), Phil realized that his bucket list hadn’t been long enough. 

There were so many things that he hadn’t done, or at least that he hadn’t done with Melinda. 

And he was realizing that he wanted to do everything with her. 

Melinda had figured this out before him, of course. She’d wanted him to live so they could have a future together. She’d asked him to live for her. 

And he’d said no.

Of course it was that rejection that had saved the world. He kept reminding himself of that, not wanting to regret that he didn’t have more time. 

But he did still regret it. 

He wanted to go to Europe, be a tourist, take pictures with Melinda everywhere even if she didn’t want to.

He wanted to get a little house for the two of them, maybe have Melinda’s mother over to visit since Phil knew that they both were terrible at keeping in touch with each other. 

He wanted them to see the team again, attend another Fitzsimmons wedding or see Mack and Elena finally tie the knot. 

Really, he wanted to have a wedding himself. Maybe even right there on the beach. If only there were time.

Melinda seemed content to be by his side, living with him, loving him, sharing every part of herself with him, but he knew that sometimes at night she would hold him tighter and he would wake up with tear stains on his t-shirt. 

She was already grieving for him, and he was grieving for their future. Finally they were on the same page, but it was too late (and even if he could have gone back to change things, he wouldn’t have… saving the world was more important… just barely). 

He tried again to make peace with the situation, but he was continually haunted by the future that was escaping them. 

An ever-growing bucket list with no time to check things off. 

But then an afternoon stroll along the beach was interrupted by a black shape in the sky, the Zephyr touching down on the beach in front of their cottage, their team running out trying not to look to hopeful but failing miserably. 

They’d found something out in space, a cure, and a cure that wasn’t alien (or technically, according to Jemma, it had been created by aliens but it was actually just a compound that was impossible to produce on earth, nothing tinged with alien DNA or anything that would cause any negative side effects). It was used for healing in some alien race, and Jemma was entirely confident that it would work for Phil too… if he agreed to use it. 

Phil could tell that Melinda, her hand still locked firmly in his as the team explained their findings, was trying very hard not to be excited or hopeful. She was done yelling at him for his choices; she just wanted him to be at peace, even if it meant leaving her. 

But he’d discovered that he could never truly be at peace if he had to leave Melinda at the end. 

This was what they needed. They would get their time back. They could have the future they were meant to have. 

So Phil nodded at Jemma and told her that he would do it. Of course he would do it. 

Melinda squeezed his hand impossibly tightly at his words, and he glanced over at her.

She looked so surprised, so happy, so hopeful, so in love with him, in that moment, and he kissed her to let her know he meant it. He was doing this for them. 

And he did. He let Jemma inject him with the solution they had found in space, and within a few hours he felt better than he’d felt in weeks, in months even. 

Daisy hugged him with tears in her eyes, and Mack offered him his old job back, but Phil declined easily. He already had so many plans for his now-extended retirement.

So after the team left, back to space, back to their search for their missing teammate, Phil and Melinda lay in bed together, Phil’s arm wrapped around her as she curled into his chest, pressing kisses to his heart periodically as though reminding herself that he wasn’t dying anymore, that they had gotten their forever. 

“So how’s that bucket list looking now?” Melinda asked him quietly, turning her head so she could look into his eyes in the moonlight. 

Phil smiled back softly. “I thought we could make it together,” he replied. “All I really want is to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

Melinda kissed him slowly in response. “Funny, that’s all I have on my list too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Come chat about Philinda (or anything tbh) with me on tumblr @parksanddownton603, I am always down to talk about these two nerds and cry over the finale :)


End file.
